A fan forever

Okay, time to take some time to talk about myself and my journey to this point in my collegiate career. Many people know me as an athlete, a label that I am proud of. But, sadly,  I am not one anymore. A heartbreaking diagnosis during my junior year left me without the opportunity to contribute athletically to the Bradley Cross Country and Track team anymore. I was told that I have supraventricular tachycardia. For laymen's terms: my heart will go from a regular "working out" heartbeat around 130 to over 200, instantly. As you can imagine this causes some problems in running a 5 mile race at the collegiate level.

I could be treated by going through a surgical procedure which would zap the pathway in my heart that causes the increased heart rate. The success rate is about 80% with a 5% chance of having the procedure go terribly wrong, in which I would have to go into open heart surgery and blah, blah, blah... Safe to say I wasn't going to risk that just to run in college. (I could have the procedure done if it ever became worse or I just felt like it was time).

If you have ever been on a team, in a discipline that you are EXTREMELY passionate about, and are told that you can't do it anymore, it is completely dismantling. I was extremely upset by the result and fell into depression for several weeks trying to adopt to college without the 20 hour per week commitment to athletics and specifically to Bradley University.

I watched my teammates, and specifically my classmates become stronger men and stronger athletes as they matured through the program. I had the opportunity to observe my team from a completely different perspective- I was now a fan, and I became the most passionate one I could possibly be. I've always been a good cheerleader but now I got to cheerlead for the people on campus I cared most about, without worrying about my own success. My path through athletics was over, but my team's path was just beginning to be paved.

I received the opportunity to be the manager for the team entering my senior year and was excited to help in any way I could. I saw Bradley Cross Country turn into a team and post the best result- for both programs- that anyone can remember. It was fun to watch and it was even better to see them wanting more. They didn't settle for the places they earned at the conference meet. They wanted more and were willing to work for it.

I had never wanted to be more part of the team than at that moment. I wanted to be sweating and exhausted by the morning's 12 miles of pain and focus. I couldn't experience it anymore but that is when I found what my strength really was. I was never the best runner on the team. I was never the worst but I always tried to have to best attitude. Now, in my new role, I could make everyone's experience a little better with a big smile and some loud words of encouragement.

I had realized what could make me happy while providing happiness for so many others. No feeling in the world is better than finding your value in it.

I still am jealous of the guys running around the concourse of the arena at 6 am but smile at the fact that I got to experience it while I could.

Make the best of anything you can. AND most importantly...

GO BRAVES